After Thanksgiving at the zoo yesterday and before a check-up at the clinic tomorrow, we had a day to spend simply resting and playing. We walked through a park, rode on some rides, paddled in a boat, and played on a playground. In everything we do, Mara Ruth joyfully and securely clings to her mommy, which is healthy on so many levels.
As wonderful as this is to watch, I must admit there are times when this can be a bit tough for this daddy. Ever since we met her, Mara Ruth has been pretty tentative around me. We knew this would be the case due to a variety of different factors: she has looked naturally to a woman to care for her all her life, she has had rare interaction with men in her past, and she has formed a tight bond with Heather through what has been quite a traumatic week. Knowing all this, we want to keep things as smooth and stress-free as possible for her, which means me needing to sit back at many points and simply let her rest in the arms where she feels most safe. In time, she will learn the security that is found in a father’s arms. In the meantime, though, we are content with taking small strides. I will hold her occasionally, particularly when Heather has something else she needs to do, and I will play with her while she’s on the floor next to Heather. Day by day, she cries less and laughs more around me, and this is good. But as much as my heart aches for my little girl to know that I will take care of her, she has a ways to go before she realizes that.
And this is where I realize that I have a ways to go, as well. I, too, have a Father who loves me, cares for me, and wants me to know the complete safety that is found in His arms. And I, too, resist His attempts to provide for everything I need. Some times, I am slow to trust Him. Other times, I cling to the things of this world, hesitant to let go of them in order to look to Him for my security and satisfaction. Yet He is patient in His pursuit of me. In spite of my resistance, He goes to extremes to show His love for me.
Earlier today, Heather had temporarily left the room, and Mara Ruth was stuck with me. She immediately began crying as I walked her around the room, rubbed her hair, patted her back, played with her feet, sang songs to her (which may have contributed to her crying), held her still, walked slower, walked faster, bounced her up and down…I tried everything I could, but the cries continued. Then I saw the solution.
Cheerios.
I took a cup of Cheerios, held them in front of her, and had her attention. She quieted down and let me wipe her cry-soaked eyes. And then I took out a Cheerio, held it up, and with a good old-fashioned airplane noise, zoomed it into her mouth. She was hooked. Thus began a game where sometimes I would feed her and other times I would hand her the Cheerio to feed herself. That’s when she decided she wanted to have a little fun. She would take a Cheerio, put in her mouth, let it dissolve a bit, and then she would take it back out and try to put it in my mouth. What should I do? Looking at her smiling face reaching out to me with that outstretched hand, I did the only thing I knew to do and chomped down on that slobber-soaked Cheerio. Unfortunately, I was now hooked, and this game continued until mommy returned to the room.
Oh, I praise God for the extremes to which He has gone to demonstrate His love for me. That the Father would send His Son, and that the Son would stoop to serve by taking my sin-soaked condition upon Himself. That He would assume all of my rebellion, refuse, and rubbish, only to assign to me all of His righteousness. I have a good Father who is supremely worthy of all my affection, all my attention, all my trust, and all my obedience.
I know these challenges with Mara Ruth are relatively and extremely small, and I know many parents with children they adopted who years later are still struggling to attach to their mom and/or dad. For that matter, I know this is a struggle for just about any parent at some stage with a child. But in it all, I/we certainly have an opportunity to learn about the love of our Father, and in the process, I pray that I/we will be a clear reflection of His patient pursuit of us.
Posted by Bryan Leed on November 25, 2011 at 11:48 am
This is very similar to the Chinese adoption experience of Mark Hall, (Casting Crowns singer and writer). In Mark Hall’s new book, “The Well,” Mark writes about going to China to pick-up their new adopted daughter, Meeka Hope; how Meeka Hope was afraid of Mark for months; and how Cheerios was an icebreaker in their relationship. God Bless the Platt family and and Hall family! Thanks for sharing your adoption experiences, it is very inspirational and informative!
Posted by Carolyn Brewer on November 25, 2011 at 12:04 pm
Amen, Amen and Amen to the Father’s Love……May His Love bind you and Mara Ruth together day by day……
Blessings in Christ….
Posted by Kandace Rather on November 25, 2011 at 12:18 pm
This is so moving and I love w/out you being consciously aware of the Holy Spirit’s creativity in connecting w/your daughter, He made it happen. We love Him because He first loved us. In time, she will reciprocate beyond soaked Cheerios and will embrace her daddy’s neck to drink in God’s love through a patient and gently earthly daddy.
Posted by Russell Mcbride on November 25, 2011 at 12:21 pm
Thank you for sharing part of your life with us and the similarity in which our FATHER in heaven loves us and goes to extremes in His pursuit of us relationship. I am so thankfull for His patience and long suffering . Thank you for your encouragement Dr Platt as God uses you as an inspiration in my new journey as a soon to be father and seminary student knowing that without Him I helpless to even keep my own heart beating.
Posted by jwunderlich on November 25, 2011 at 12:33 pm
Reblogged this on Faith and Family.
Posted by jwunderlich on November 25, 2011 at 12:41 pm
When I was adopted into God’s family, I loved God, but honestly (and sadly) did not fully trust Him for sometime. Thankful for His faithful patience. Your faithful patience will pay off as well.
Posted by julieammons on November 25, 2011 at 1:00 pm
Thank you.
Posted by Andy on November 25, 2011 at 1:21 pm
Well written and touching and true. God’s blessings on you all! Keep the gentle pursuit going – highs and lows ahead as well as transformation for you all. We’re nearly eight years into a family changed by adoption and the gentle pursuit has sometimes been fierce and often rewarding. God’s grace has abounded to us all.
Posted by Nancy Borrett on November 25, 2011 at 1:50 pm
What a spectacular picture you have given of the Father- I just loved it! My sister adopted a child from China 7 years ago and I remember those first tentative days with such a mix of emotion. I am now her favorite aunt (I like to think) and again have such a changed picture of us being adopted by our Heavenly Father. Thank you so much for sharing this journey!
Posted by fragrantcloud on November 25, 2011 at 2:21 pm
I am thankful to God that I found such a lovely blog as this. I haven’t time to look through your blog properly David just now, and i must add that I’m not the brightest thing on earth when it comes to computers! (love love love LOVE your picture of the earth to the left of this column)
HOW on earth (no pun intended!) did you manage to do thatttt? It is lovely. I know I amf repeating myself here but I dooooo like the look and content of your blog so far and am looking forward to reading more and more of it.
Check in to my blog too if you have a chance..it looks pretty basic compared to yours – but check it out folks and I promise you there will be some pretty nice reads there for you.
God Bless
fragrant cloud
Posted by Kelly Preston on November 25, 2011 at 2:32 pm
Thank you for sharing your heartfelt desire to bond with your precious new daughter and how that relates to our Heavenly Father’s desire for us to crawl up in His lap without hesitation. Reading your story these past several days has been so encouraging, inspirational and moving. May God continue to richly bless your precious family and the ministry He is doing in and through your lives!
Posted by steve on November 25, 2011 at 4:00 pm
Amen and Amen, to know that God chose us and adopted us into His family has so much more meaning since our daughters adoption from China 10 years ago. To know how much we love her and want what is best for her, but those tenacious attachment issues that pull her to want to be in control, remind me of my relationship with my heavenly Father.
Posted by Ralph Pressley on November 25, 2011 at 4:30 pm
David, our little granddaughter, Abby, was the exact same way when Beth & David got her in China. She was still that way when they got home. If Beth even looked like she was going to be out of her site she started crying. She was 14 months old then. It gradually got better and now at 8 years old she is a real Daddy’s Girl for sure. The same will happen for you, but it was hard on our David too, at first. God Bless!!
Posted by Chris Caughran on November 25, 2011 at 5:34 pm
I celebrate with you all on your beautiful family and hope you are still blogging when Mara walks the aisle someday on her Daddy’s arm at her wedding! Thank you so much for tying this all together with how God revealed to you that God had not forsaken you for the 5 years of pain with infertility, but rather was weaving together a family plan for the Platts that was far and above anything you could hope, dream or imagine. It has played endlessly in my mind since I read it and has expanded my faith that God is ALWAYS at work for us and, most likely, even more so when we don’t feel it. Thank you again for sharing your joyful story; it has benefited me in a way that you might not ever know.
Posted by Brent on November 25, 2011 at 8:34 pm
They don’t call ‘em Cherrios for nothing! Praying for y’all and look forward to your safe return. Thanks for sharing, as someone who has been adopted (both earthly and spiritually) these stories always remind and deepen my affection for my savior. I have so much to be thankful for. Praise God for all he has done!!!!
Posted by Jill on November 26, 2011 at 12:47 am
Thank you for sharing your journey with us. It gives me a joy to see people with such love and patience for their children, following God and showing others the way. There are no words for how uplifting it can be. I am thankful we have so many ways to share our love for God with each other and for the lost.
Posted by Spencer Breedlove on November 26, 2011 at 6:31 am
Been there… I feel your pain to be patient! But it is certainly a sweet deal when they finally “trust” you and begin to relax! Elisabeth would get so upset with me she would make herself sick. yikes! Praying for all of you! Lisa and I have enjoyed following your journey!
Posted by melissa on November 26, 2011 at 1:26 pm
Beautiful. Totally got me all choked up about my Heavenly Dad. For my husband, he has also had to patiently pursue our oldest daughter. She was just not connecting with him, didn’t want him to touch her – hard to watch and i know his heart hurt! But right around her 2nd birthday (she turned two this past Sept), something changed and there has been such a big change. She loves having him home -hates it when he leaves and often gives him a hard time if he puts her down when she wants him to hold her.
Thank you for writing – God is using your words and your story to inspire, teach and give us insight into God’s heart for us.